Dancing Through Life

Have you ever felt so completely left out and lonely? The past two and a half months has been really hectic and hard for me. Now, when I actually have a bit of time to talk about it, I have no-one to talk to. The one person I could talk to has let me down more than once, and I am not willing to go through that again. It really seems like everyone has deserted me and just doesn’t give a shit anymore about me and what I’m going through. I realise that I’ve been busy and didn’t always give enough time to my friends, but I just couldn’t. Aren’t friends supposed to stick with you through whatever, especially hard times?

 This might seem like a really stupid post, but I had to get this of my chest. It’s not a cry for help and I’m not on the verge of committing suicide. I might be on the verge of going into solitary confinement…

I watched Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix last night and I was a little disappointed. I suppose it’s a good movie, but if you read the book, it falls short.  There are so many details that were lost to people who have not read the book. There’s a lot of things that these people missed in the movie, especially the humour! The most disappointing part for me was that they made the scenes in the Department of Mysteries so short. In the book this last quite long. Harry and his friends get separated and lost in all kinds of interesting places. I would especially have liked to see a movie version of the sucking brains. I was shocked that they made Cho the snitch even if she was given veritaserum. They also left out Harry and Cho’s disasterous date! And why didn’t Grawp say “Hermy”?!

 What I did like was the fight between Dumbledore and Voldemort in the Ministry of Magic. It was done well.  Fred and George’s fireworks exit was also good, although I did miss all the things that happened before that in the book. For tose who haven’t read it, they turn the halls into a swamp; there are fireworks all over the school and they keep multiplying; Peeves goes crazy at the twins’ request and the best of all, none of the teachers lift a finger to restore order to Hogwarts!! I think at some point McGonagall even encourages Peeves to throw something at Umbridge. I have to admit, Umbridge was well played. She was just as annoying and infuriating as in the book, although she was much uglier in my imagination. The DA practices was also done well and Rupert once again played Ron brilliantly! 

 I realise it’s a movie and everything in the book cannot be put into two hours of film, but some things should not be left out. In Prisoner of Azkaban George and Fred gives Harry the Marauder’s map, but the story of the map is never told. The four names on the map, Padfoot,Prongs, Mooney and Wormtail, actually refers to Sirius, James, Lupin and Peter. They made the map when they were at school and Filch confiscated it, but the Weasley twins relieved him of it. I really thought this could be put in there somewhere.

 Well, I could go on and on, and maybe I will later, but right now I need to go be a good honours student and do some work!

Well, I’m once again back at university without really having a holiday. I applied for my masters degree in the past three weeks and it really took a lot out of me. I had to write an autobiography and answer some difficult questions. Questions you actually have to think about. This morning when I arrived on campus everything felt different. I can’t explain it and doesn’t really make sense. I’ve felt that things have changed before, but not like this. I’ve been wondering what could be the cause of this. My first thought was that it might be because I haven’t seen my friends in about three weeks. Or it could be that I’ve changed. Again. I’ve had a lot of time to think and I think the applications had a lot to do with it. It feels like I’m removed from everyone. It’s really weird and if I didn’t know better I would think I have a psychological disorder.

Since I’ve been struggling to write something, I’ve decided to philosopize on my blog’s name. The reason I chose Dancing Through Life is obvious to everyone who knows me: I’m dance crazy! I love dancing and it’s what I live for. Without dancing I’m pretty much undefined.

When I had to decide on a blogname I thought it would be nice to use a type of metaphor. Everyone has been told at some point to “live life to the full!” and that is what dancing is to me. Life is like, and should be lived like, a dance or a series of dances. It has slow parts, fast parts, wacky parts, toe-trodders, fun turns, disastrous turns and some unexpected and surprising turns. You have to learn how to dance, even if you are a born dancer, you need to practice to become better at it. In the same way we need to practice living life and dealing with life and become better at it. Needless to say some people are better at this than others and some of our toes need to be stepped on a lot before we get it!

Even though this is my description of life, it isn’t always easy to live life like a dance. Sometimes it feels like I just want to stop and go sit on the sidelines like a wallflower. That way no one can step on my toes, or laugh when I trip or bump into me. (Un)fortunately, you can’t really extract yourself from life like that without causing serious damage to yourself and your dance. Luckily we have other dancers on the dance floor even when you have to do an exam(like in ballet) and prove yourself. These other dancers can pull us from the sidelines and say, “hey, get over here and start dancing!”

I can carry the metaphor even further by comparing God to the DJ and the music. He plays the music and we choose on which songs we dance and what dance we will dance and with whom. When the music starts getting out of control, the DJ can change it or stop it, all you need to do is ask. Of course, he won’t always do as you ask; sometimes he might do what you ask, but not immediately. The music is constant and always there, but sometimes we dance too fast or too slow for the music or we ignore the rhythm and do our own thing. Sometimes we don’t like the songs and have to wait for the songs we want to dance to. We can’t always sit out all the bad songs, because of someone asking you to dance or because the time to dance is limited.

I could go on like this all day, because of the many dimensions to dancing that you can compare with life and experiences. This is my thought and invitation to you for today. Let’s start dancing and when we feel like falling when coming out of a turn or when the music is too slow, grab someone to catch you and laugh with you! If you need to slow down or need help to get up after falling, remember the other dancers and remember the DJ and the music!

My mind is numb. I have taken in so much information in the past hour and a half and most of it shocking. I read a few posts on the Virginia shooting and I’m speechless for more than one reason. Firstly, the amazing inaccurate and speculative information given by the American media.  I’m still not sure exactly how many people were killed. Secondly, the reactions of some people on this tragedy. In one comment I read the first thing asked was what colour the shooter was. Does it matter? How many times do people need to be shown that people of all races commit murder and other crimes. I have to admit the event itself did not leave me speechless. I suppose it’s a bad thing when tragedies of this proportion has less of an effect than expected. I think we’ve just been so bombarded and made numb towards violence, that we have this watered down reaction almost out of a sense of duty.  I’m not saying I feel nothing. It’s just that it seems like there should be something more than just the acknowledgement of the event and a few prayers said in honour of the families.

 This is the second thing in a short while to make me wonder how people get over stuff like this. I’m glad to say my friend who was stabbed has peace again, but now I’m wondering How do you get there? How do the parents and friends of the victims in Virginia get their peace back? God obviously plays the biggest role in Christians’ lives, but how do non-believers find their peace?

Hi, there! It took me quite some time to get started on this blog because I wasn’t sure of what I should write about. I’m still not sure, but I decided to give it a go. In general I’m not very good with expressing myself through words. You can ask my friends, they are constantly laughing at me because of something that came out wrong. I prefer dancing and singing.

My first post is going to be kind of deep. I’ve been wondering how we as living, feeling and loving beings, can distance ourselves from people who are no longer featuring in our lives. I need to mention that I can get emotional, especially concerning my friends. I’m in my fourth year of study and I still find myself missing some of the friends I haven’t seen or heard of since our last day of school. I had to stop and ask myself to what extent loving people or, sometimes even clinging to people you think you love, is functional. I study psychology, so many people would expect me to know the answer to my own question, but I don’t. My question is: How do you stop loving or caring for people before it becomes disfunctional or inhibiting? I don’t see me missing my friends as inhibiting, since its only in moments of nostalgy that they come to mind again. Maybe its more the memory or the experience that evokes emotion rather than the person?

The reason I started thinking about this again, was because a friend of mine was mugged and stabbed this past weekend. I only found out a day later, but the moment the girl who told me, said it, I felt my heart stop for a moment. I had to focus for a moment to hear her say that he was okay and just a bit shaken. My next question is: How is it that some of us, like me, can love people in such a way that it seems impossible to live without them (friends, family) and then you get people who seem to not love anyone? From a psychological point of view, people would say it has to do with personality or disposition, but I find it hard to simplify it like that.

I hope I’m making a bit of sense, at least, and I would really like to hear some views on this. Cobus, ek wag in spanning…